No more granny panties!

I will and I am going to revamp my underwear selection. Things to go to the dump, prompto:

• All granny-styled, saggy-bottomed, pastel-coloured, waist-high, auntie-panties.
• All with flower patterns, little ribbons, and fake cotton lace.
• All in any shade of ugly brown - brown, dark brown, nude brown, even uglier brown.
• All those that cannot stay up cos they've lost all their elastic.
• All that ride up the crack.

Watch out. I'm coming home baby.