Pencil Shavings

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Hanwell in Hell, by Zadie Smith



In the author's note at the beginning of this collection, Zadie said that this short story "came to [her] all at once, as nothing [she has] ever written has before."

This story gives me a weird feeling that neither novel I've written ever has: I truly feel that Hanwell exists somehow. Hanwell seems real to me in a way that Archie and Alsana and Alex-Li and the rest never do; as if this story of mine has opened up a little gap in the world where Hanwell once existed and continues to exist, eternally meeting Clive Black in the back room of a bar and walking with him across that dark, wet residential square in Bristol.
In a way, I believe her 'cos Hanwell now exists for me too. The story lingers and stays with you, like this poignant line:
"We made people unhappy because we ourselves were made unhappy in irrevocable ways."
Yet, there is hope as Hanwell, the colour-blind dishwasher paints a room for his daughters, thinking that the violent red is a sunshine yellow. The book ends with this beautiful sentence:
"Not many men can hope red yellow."
Read it here.

Read More!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Singapore sinks

irredeemable_Singapore

Irredeemable, Vol. 1, Mark Waid and Peter Krause

Read More!

My miracle-making dad

My miracle-making dad

I thought my dad was just going to fry me an egg.. But he made me this!
Succulent brinjal and cherry tomatoes from the heights of Cameron Highlands, pan-fried minced meat and an almost runny egg.
He's a miracle-worker. He deserves sainthood.

Read More!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Logicomix: An Epic Search for Truth, by Apostolos Doxiadis and Christos Papadimitriou


This graphic novel is about the life and work of Bertrand Russell, a logician whose search for the foundations of Mathematics led to the formation of analytic philosophy. He is famous for the paradox he stumbled upon (known to us as Russell's paradox), which in layman terms goes something like this.
Of all the books in the world, there are those that are refer to themselves in the text (self-referential) and those that don't refer to themselves. If I were to compile a catalogue of all books that are NOT self-referential, would the catalogue contain an entry of itself?

Therein is the conundrum: if the catalogue were to list itself, then it is no longer not self-referential; but if it did not list itself, then it is not a catalogue of books that are not self-referential!
In Mathematical language, the catalogue is "the set of all the sets that are not members of themselves". Of course this seems kinda mind-boggling that a set could be a member of itself, but when you think of specific examples it is not so weird. For example, a set of all ideas is an idea and so the set would contain itself, but a set of all birds is not a bird and so it won't contain itself. (Of course the practical functions of sets in Mathematics befuddles me...)
This comic is thought-provoking. While this comic is about logic, philosophy and Mathematics, the authors are emphatic that it is not a "Dummy's guide to logic" in pictures; instead, they say that it is a story where logicians are the superheroes, or to be precise, a tragedy. This is a most interesting way of seeing itself because the book then becomes a reflection of the struggle of the protagonist — the struggle between reason and passion, logic and madness. It could be said that tragedy can only occur with paradox and conundrum, yet these are the very things that Bertrand spends his life's work trying to solve. Does he solve his own paradox? What is his personal resolution?
At the end, Russell felt like a failure. Ludwig Wittgenstein's clever sidestep of Russell's paradox in his "picture theory" (where the world is modeled by language), in addition to the Kurt Godel's devastating Incompleteness Theorems, which pretty much says that it is impossible to prove all arithmetic proofs, which was what Russell spent 20 years trying to do, meant the end of Russell's lifelong quest for the foundations.
Yet, there is transcendence. Russell doesn't succumb to his arch-enemy, madness (not for long, anyway), but he quotes his protege Ludwig Wittgenstein near the end of the comic: "All the facts of Science are not enough to understand the world's meaning". The comic ends with Athena's resolution of the dilemma in the old Greek myth "Oresteia", which is a grand way to end a paradoxical tragedy about logic.

Read More!

Friday, December 18, 2009

It has been a while

First of all, I owe everyone an apology for suddenly disappearing after that last post on 14 April 2008. Things got kinda intense on my end and I had to disappear for a while. Frankly, it felt like a part of me died when I stopped writing here in this blog. I dropped friends and relationships that I had made on this blog with nary a goodbye post, and that's most unbecoming. I'm sorry.

It may take a while for me to get used to talking to myself again, but I'm back, for better or for worse.

Read More!

Monday, April 14, 2008

-ve Priming: An e.g. of what not to do

I really shouldn't say "crap" first thing in the morning, 'cos it means that later at 12:20pm, when I realise that I have clean run out of time and I have one more stanza of the poem to go, that is the first thing out of my mouth.

Then I hear a ripple of not-so-whisper-like-whispers... "I can't believe Ms G said "crap"!"

Read More!

Internal monologue

Monday, 5:45am [Alarm rings]
Crap. Groan. No.... 9 more minutes

5:54am
I'm snoozing some more. Who needs a shower in the morning anyway?

6:03am [Visions of being late for school jolt me awake]
-blank-

6:10am
Brain kicks in and tells me I've got to shower, who am I deluding.

6:30am {Walking out to the bus-stop]
Brain kicks into second gear and alarms go off: "CRIKEY! I FORGOT THAT WE'RE NOT GIVING BACK THE TEST FOR LIT CLASS TODAY WHICH MEANS THAT I HAVE A LIT LESSON IN THE MORNING THAT I HAVEN'T PLANNED FOR!!!"

6:40am [On bus, scribbling lesson plan in exercise book]
I think I'll re-use my Sec 1 materials for my Sec 3s. Heh heh heh. *evil laughter*

6:50am {Asleep on bus]
ZZZZZzzz

6:55am [At school]
Need coffee. Cannot function without coffeee. Is the photocopier down? Oh dear. But I'll make my cup of coffee first.

7:05am {madly photocopying. madly planning. brain, infused with caffeine, in overdrive]
How many copies do I need? Why is there no paper? What's wrong with the Master Print? What do I need to scan? What is my password? Who am I?

7:35am [singing the Mahjulah]
I need to tell the kids to stay in their class. Where are they?

---- FAST FORWARD

9:00am [NOW]
STOP BLOGGING! GO TO CLASS!

Read More!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Tete-a-tete with Lee Tzu Pheng

“A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.” Robert Frost
I was standing at border's flipping through local poet Lee Tzu Pheng's collection of poems "Lambada by Galilee & Other Surprises" and it struck me how revealing and intimate it is to read another person's poetry. I read her poem about teaching Tyger in a classroom and I laughed because it was all too familiar; I read her poem about the way of the cross and I thought—ah! she's a Christian; I read the one about finding Lucky Plaza on a map and I thought—she's kinda whimsical; and so, from having absolutely no idea who she apart from the role she has played as a local poet, I thought, hey, it would be nice to sit down and have tea and a chit chat with her.

I wish I could have my poems published one day too. But for now, my poems are too frivolous, too particular, too sentimental, and too unpolished. But it would be so cool to add my voice to the accumulation of local poetry in Singapore...

Read More!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

My Macbook sleeps

My Macbook sleeps tonight
I left the power cable at work
And I think of Jesus
dead in the tomb
three days
drained and poured out
exhausted for the sins of men.

He lies on the cold rock, painfully still
silent
a man without a shadow
a useless God bereft of power.

Satan laughs

Read More!

Monday, April 07, 2008

My wicked soul

mumbles through the bits it doesn't like.

OurFatherwhoartinheaven
Hallowedbethyname
ThykingdomcomeThywillbedone
Onearthasitisinheaven
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY BREAD
FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES
asweforgivethosewhotresspassagainstus
leadusnotintotemptation
BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL
forthineisthekingdom, THE POWER, andtheglory
FOREVER AND EVER.
amen.

Read More!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

A poem in two parts

Everytime they take a test
she writes a poem
a sad poem a tragic poem a nothing poem
______neither here nor there
just to fill up the quiet
and drown out the scratching of pen on paper

Everytime she writes a poem
it is a test
of how much how far how deep
______she would succumb
to the stranglehold of lies
that maligns hope and whispers chaos

Read More!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

What is poetry?

A poem may appear to mean very different things to different readers, and all of these meanings may be different from what the author thought he meant. For instance, the author may have been writing some peculiar personal experience, which he saw quite unrelated to anything outside; yet for the reader the poem may become the expression of a general situation, as well as of some private experience of his own. The reader's interpretation may differ from the author's and be equally valid-- it may even be better. There may be much more in a poem than the author was aware of. The different interpretations may all be partial formulations of one thing; the ambiguities may be due to the fact that the poem means more, not less, than ordinary speech can communicate.

T.S. Eliot

Read More!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

My long days

I wake at 5:45am, get to school by 7am, leave school between 4 and 6:30pm, have dinner, start work at 8pm, fall asleep at 11:15pm, and the cycle begins again.

WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I SIGN UP FOR?

Read More!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I'm a chao enthu newbie teacher

I have a bruise on my hip and my thigh from lugging an accordion up and down the overhead bridge, up and down the public bus, and up the stairs to class.

I tried to psych myself to walk like an air stewardness with a chic trolley luggage, but I kept getting stuck in the narrow doorways.

Read More!

Monday, March 24, 2008

How to create an interactive whiteboard with the Wiimote

This is so cool! I wanna make one!

Read More!