Pencil Shavings

Friday, April 30, 2004

One hour to lunch and I've done no work

I have been an absolute bum about work recently. Yesterday I whittled my time away surfing the web and twiddling my thumbs, today I spent the morning talking to my colleagues about the MSM concert last night, writing hm a long email, drinking milky coffee and eating beehoon, updating my blog, and watching my fish swim. What buminess! Especially since I woke up this morning and resolved to finish the youth report that I've been putting off! Oh, the best laid plans of mice and men (and I'm definitely a mouse with mouse-sized plans) gang 'oft awry.

The concert hall at the Espanade was awesome. We sat at the Circle 3 seats at the highest and furthest point of the Hall. Walking down the side steps at this height gave me thoughts of my body hurtling down to the seats below in a dramatic death. But it didn't happen. obviously, and the music played on. I had a genuinely good time. I think it was a welcome relief from the bothersome, introspective, self-bashing thoughts that weighed me down the last three days, and I was happy to be simply one person in a concert hall listening to music. They say Happiness was one of the chief goals of the Methodists, along with Love. But of course their version of happiness is like "holy happiness" or something like that.

I have a new article on Talkingcock. I've written quite a few since the first one. The Rich man one has been the most popular.

Alright. Back to work, erm, really.

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Thursday, April 29, 2004

Fill in the blanks

I am not: 16 anymore
I love: my friends and family
I hate: people who trick old folks
I fear: not succeeding
I hope: for a happy ending
I hear: bubbling from the fish tank and the hum of my computer
I crave: for a simple life
I regret: my course of study
I cry: at church
I care: tremendously, but I’ve forgotten
I always: look up the HDB block for falling potted plants
I believe: in God
I feel alone: on Friday nights
I listen: and feel helpless
I hide: so I won’t hurt others.
I drive: erm.. a bicycle?
I sing: haltingly
I dance: even more haltingly
I write: to feel better about myself
I miss: Old friends, my sister, college life, Bible Study, the smell of spring, driving a car
I search: for my missing hands-free set
I learn: that life doesn’t turn out the way you’ve always imagined it to be
I feel: forgotten
I know: that my parents love me
I say: “I don’t know”
I succeed: “I don’t know”
I dream: always
I want: the best deal
I have: 19 neon tetras, 4 orange-striped fish and 1 sucker fish
I give: you $2 if you will ask me for it
I fell: too many times already
I fight: when I feel snubbed
I need: reassurance
I laugh: and it brings hope

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Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Ha ha! Check this out! From the archives of The Onion:

Finger-Quotes Lady Now Doing Hand Parentheses
LINCOLN, NE—Finger-quotes lady Ann Hahn, 41, has added hand parentheses to her hand-punctuation repertoire, sources reported Monday. "I ran into Ann in the breakroom, and she told me Mindy Lewis wasn't at work last Friday because she was sick," coworker Edward Felk said. "Then she cups her hands and adds, 'from drinking too much.' Who does that?" Added Felk: "What's next, thumb commas?"

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Thursday, April 01, 2004

too much computer.

tired of transfering information from book to brain to computer screen and trying to get my brain to weedle out the definitions of nominal and notional Christian. i feel the strain in my shoulders creeping up to my neck, like the spider-like invasion of enemy troops in virgin territory.

i just finished reading the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. What an excellent book! In Return of the King, Aragon and Faramir were portrayed as men who could "command both man and beast", who held sway the hearts of men. When they were having the last debate as to whether they should make a death march against Mordor, Aragon said that he will go, but he could not command anyone else to do so. To which Prince Ithilien replied, "You may not consider yourself my king, but I consider you my liege-lord. Your desire is therefore my command." Such were the power and influence of the captains of men! Gandalf said that there were some in their company, meaning Aragon, Gimli, Legolas, that were worth "more than a thousand knights in mail". There was an intrinsic, attractive, powerful, wise, and wonderful quality about them that separated them from the rest. The king was said to have "hands of healing" that could bring those out from the shadow of evil.

Which made me think.. Is Christ this attractive to men? If Christ is this attractive, his comment that his yoke is easy makes sense in spite of his demand that we carry the cross of death. Prince Ithilien and the soldiers would not have been able, let alone want to, lay seige on Mordor, yet Aragon inspired their hearts with courage and his presence and leadership made it possible for them to do the impossible. If so, the demands of Christ becomes easy! Not because they are intrinsically easy - how is it even humanly possible to die to the self? - but because Christ inspires our heart with courage and love for him, and we simply follow. Interesting to think that it says, "take up your cross and follow me", and not just "take up your cross."

The Bible verses are not as clear in my brain these days.

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