two sides of a coin

Certain bad moods are strangely productive. The most productive bad moods are the ones tinged with self-righteous indignation, full of self-esteem and perceived power. They give just enough rage to make turning points in my life – to do things that I’ve put off doing because I’ve been too concerned about other people’s opinions, or because of simple indecision. This evening is one of these days.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are bad moods that do nothing for me. I lie in bed and cannot get up. In the throes of depression, nothing is worth the effort. I feel like a 500-year old ancient trapped in a twenty-something year old body entrusted with the secret heavy knowledge that everything is vanity, meaningless, a vapour that disappears. And I sleep until the headache comes.

What are yours like?