You know you have a butter fetish when..

1. You forego having honey and butter on your toast and opt for butter and butter instead.
2. The butter drops off your spreading knife onto the counter and you can pick up the whole slab of it and transfer it to your bread without making too much of a mess.
3. You place your toast buttered-side-up on a piece of paper and you notice grease spots when you pick it up again.
4. The middle of the toast sags.
5. The cross-section of your toast is yellow all the way.
6. When writing down the first five words that come to mind when prompted with the word "butter", love-handles, saturated fat, cholesterol, and clogged arteries don't make the list.
7. You have to run to the loo 5 minutes after breakfast.