I'm back at work and everything feels surreal. It doesn't feel like I'm actually here; I can't remember what I'm supposed to be doing; and what in the world did I use to do to pass the time? I feel sick. Need a painkiller.
Going away brings everything into sharp focus. I am not only between the proverbial devil and the deep blue sea, there are sharp nails under my feet. You can make a home of sharp nails, you know, the way a salamader makes a home of consuming fire. I have uncannily made a home of this uncomfortable place: where there are no ambitions, no dreams, no principles, no hope for a future, just today, tomorrow and everyday after.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Back at work
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3 comments:
welcome back...
i see you've re-discovered that you have been plugged right back into The Matrix... Singapore is The Matrix... unless you follow the white rabbit... and I don't mean the PAP... ahaha....
was just thinking about this over lunch... and realised that there's no Singapore Dream... unlike the American Dream where anybody can become somebody through hard work and grit...
what we have is - at best, a dreamless, comatose state, at worst, a waking nightmare...
What a depressing lunch... No, there isn't a Singaporean dream, unless you count being happily married with two or three kids, living in a nice condo, driving a family car, with the parents close by, which is as far as dreams go, isn't actually that bad.
There is a Christian (philanthropist, social activist, moralist, idealist) dream though: to contribute to society in a meaningful way. That may be the only dream worth having..
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