There is a time to tell it all and a time to hold it back.
When Boromir told Aragon in his dying breath that he had tried to take the ring from Frodo, Aragon kept it a secret for a long time to preserve the memory of Boromir. I mean, come on, the guy is dead, isn't truth more important than keeping up appearances? Yet I think there is a virtue in keeping quiet.
At J. Oliver's wedding, P. tutu suddenly sprung on a friend some disconcerting news regarding an ex-boyfriend, and in so doing, cast a shadow over a happy occassion. P. tutu then proceeded ask the friend if she was okay with the news. If you had to ask, you shouldn't have told! Especially when the only reason you know the news was because J. Oliver wanted your advice on whether to put the ex on a far-away table. There is a time for everything, and the time to tell was obviously not then.
Which makes blogging a rather difficult exercise in itself if you have friends and family reading your site. Social interactions are much more complicated than a newspaper. Life isn't a loudhailer! When I talk to a friend, I tell some things; some things I keep to myself; and even when I tell, it ought to be in context.
But I probably err on the side of not telling anything at all. One of my friends overseas lamented that although my letters were a joy to read because they are well-written, they don't tell a thing at all. Heh. Content-free, as Eric would put it, just like the posts in this blog.
Friday, June 23, 2006
The virtues of keeping a secret
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3 comments:
I think it depends very much on the situation...
if the secret has long term impact or a future effect that could end the said marriage, then it better be out in the open before the vows are said... in case it does come to light by some inadvertent means...
this is especially so if the secret exposes one of the partner's as a fraud... pretending to be something other than what he/she really is... passing off, misrepresenting who he/she really is... that must be outted with a vehemence... why? because the other party is being duped into the marriage... under false pretences..
i'm sure there are other scenarios in which silence is the best policy... but the point i'm making is that there shouldn't be any in the first place... i believe there ought not to be secrets between the couple... if the other partner cannot deal with the secret, then what's the point of getting hitched? and if both partners really deeply love one another, than these secrets would fall to the ground, like the bullets in the final scene of the latest X-Men....
perhaps i'm naive, but this is just my two cents... ;-)
i think i wouldn't have told. i may have told other friend ie you instead if i really had to let it out..
Tot, you are right, it really depends on the situation. I also agree that there should be as few secrets between a couple as possible.
This situation was different though, it was between friends, and the information was completely useless. Hence my annoyance.
Anon, i suppose it is very hard to reign the tongue, as James say, and it came out in a moment of unguardedness, with no intention to harm. But foolish nevertheless..
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