I'm keeping more money in my wallet than usual 'cos tis the season to buy my colleagues lunch.
C.S. Lewis wrote a book titled "A Grief Observed" where he noted and described the symptoms of his own grief when he lost his beloved wife. Along those lines in a much less serious matter, these are my observations of the phases I'm going through.
Phase 1: Catalyst for change
There was actually a precise point where I realised that I couldn't stay any longer.
Phase 2: Process of looking
Tried out options, somewhat optimistic and confident.
Phase 3: Disappointment
Most options didn't work out and got into a rut thinking that I would not be able to leave even if I wanted to. It was depressing and bad for the self-esteem.
Phase 4: An opportunity
Got a job offer.
Phase 5: Decision time
Forgot why I wanted to go in the first place.
Phase 6: Speaking to the boss
Re-aligned my thoughts, pursued a few options at current job.
Phase 7: Still deciding
What to do, I'm an indecisive person. ;)
Phase 8: Telling the boss a firm answer
Was going to be polite and apologise but when it came down to it, all I said was, "er. I've decided to go." I'll never go into Public Relations.
Phase 9: Buying colleagues lunch
Hence the need to have more cash in the pocket. :)
I'm feeling better about it now that I've decided. My last day is still a long way off and so I'm not worried about being thrown into the deep end of the pool yet. But it'll come, I'm sure of it.
Jitters to come, do tune in. :)
I hope I don't change my mind!
Friday, January 26, 2007
'tis the season
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5 comments:
"Be quick to make your decisions and slow to change them," was some advice I once got. Of course, I live the opposite of that, changing my mind multiple times after deliberating long and hard over the initial decision. In other words, I feel your "pain." I'm glad you made the decision you did though. I think it will free you to explore your potential and I pray that you are blessed with a rewarding change.
Shouldn't they be buying you lunch? Or am I being too American in my thinking?
So, what do you do now and what will you do in the new position?
I'm just full of questions. Aren't I?
Thank you Gwynne. It is a decision-free weekend! Woot! :)
Jim, I'm not sure. This is the first time I'm doing this. I want to buy my colleagues lunch to maintain bridges and say thank you but they may want to buy me lunch to say farewell. Yesterday I was going to buy this one guy lunch, but he absolutely insisted on buying, so...
About the new position.. maybe I'll tell it to you on your site. :)
Good that you decided, no matter what you've decided on. It's the indecision and the revision that makes life a drag.
Btw, I picked up the foll. rather thoughtful piece from another website and think may want to read it too. If it's inappropriate for your site, please remove:
Even 5 years ago, when I started work in the Chinatown area, there were already the signs of the very poor appearing on our streets.
What really shocked me was once, I was walking back from a night out, at about 3am, by Maxwell Road, when I saw an entire family, two parents and 3 young kids - say 7 to 10 years old, working on the streets, sorting through papers and cardboards for resale.
While they were not homeless, they must have been in dire straits, for all of them to work.
I have to say, I was stunned, because I was in lala land, coming back from the UK, with its much more severe homeless problem, and having spent 2 years back thinking that there was not such a problem in Singapore.
A few thoughts crossed my mind:
1 How would the kids be able to do well in school to break out of the poverty cycle?
2 Why was there no reporting of this segment of society?
3 How is it that they have not chosen to look for Public Assistance?
4 Was it a good thing that they have chosen to work, rather than to beg like what we see in so many other countries? Is the work-ethic really so ingrained into our people?
5 Was there an invisible city that exists behind our shiny buildings and modern malls - that you would only see if you took the less trodden path, or wandered around at ungodly hours when *respectable* people with *regular jobs* were safely in bed dreaming their middle class dreams?
My experience in the past years was that (5) is quite the case. It all depends if you want to see it or not.
I do not think that many of these would be willing to take handouts from us, for whatever reason, and I would not discount that they have a sense of pride and dignity that prevents them from begging.
Thus, I WOULD buy things that I do not really need, and pay more than what is asked - is this silly? Not for me.
Do what you feel is right, but do something, however small.
As for those who do beg, let your conscience guide you - my guess is that if they are local, it is quite an extreme situation that would have forced them into doing this. We are such a small city, with such judgemental citizens, what would it take to drive someone to beg? There is almost no way of knowing if the person is genuinely in need or not, but do think of your relative situation - is that $1 dollar or so, as important to you as to the person asking? If s/he is a cheat, well, let his/her consience be troubled, and not your own, for you have GIVEN.
There are those who helped to build our shiny city, and still have no means to have one hot meal a day because they cannot afford the 2 dollars or so.
All of us need to open our eyes... its the first step.
KA.
mis_nomer,
If it's something you'd rather not go into on your blog (or anybody's for that matter) you can always email me.
Or not. Whatever floats your dinghy.
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