this is not forever

The human psyche is a funny thing. I work at this job as if i am going to be here forever: being bored with my work, taking my time with projects, drinking coffee and wasting time, thinking I have to bear with certain colleagues forever. This is in spite of the fact that I have taken small steps towards finding a new job. It is as if there is a disconnect between both bits of my life, and when I am at work, I don't realise that this is not forever.

Same way with life. Some of us have made plans for when we are gone: we write wills, book niches and think about our children. But we live as if that day will never come! We think life is a bore; we are full of regrets, wondering what life would be like if we hadn't done this or chosen this or had done well in school or were making more money... We want money as if we will always need it. We are frustrated with the idiosyncracies of our family and friends, and say stuff like, "You are always like that," as if always will stretch into eternity.

It is in Ecclesiastes that Solomon writes that God has placed "eternity in the hearts of men". I wonder if that is the origin of the disillusion that even though there is irrefutable evidence gathered over many centuries that someday we will die, we think that when it comes to us, death will pass us by and we will ride like Elijah in a chariot of fire. I don't think so.

I really have to make more effort at smiling and being cheerful at work and at home, and put my darnest best into what I do, because this is my one shot at life, because this is not forever.