I was afraid last night. It is funny how at night, fear feels so tangible, corporeal almost, but in the light of day, it evaporates like a bad dream. I was afraid of losing my mind and jumping out of the window, so I slid them shut, and lay under two pillows, cocooned in my pink room.
And then I dreamt of death. Of a 21 year old girl who suddenly collapsed after a bout of simple fever. Of the frantic madness of her family. I dreamt of this fever spreading, insidiously felling everyone I love. An old frail woman was hooked up to beeping machines in a cold white room staring at the back of her eyelids as her children and gradnchildren wept.
Perhaps it wasn't a dream.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Keep passing the open windows
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3 comments:
was it the much talked about avian flu pandemic?
hmm... mass hysteria as the drug companies whip up massive sales for vaccines that are as useless as yesterday's newspapers...
everyone knows that flu germs mutate so fast that no vaccine can be found in time to block out just one strain before it evolves... and yet consumers are cleaning the shelves - hoarding tamiflu... what a joke...
oops... sorry, off tangent...
re: fears and night... yeah... they go together way back... darkness has a magical power over the most logical and rational human being... this must be the leftovers from our earliest ancestors, like the vestigial tail we all possess... the dregs of a long ago time when darkness invoked strange and mysterious feelings of terror of the unknown... the staring into the inky blackness that can drive one mad... not knowing if one's eyes are open or shut... a waking nightmare... boo!
Sounds like the remains of Saramego's book to me. ;-) I loved the imagery in that post though. You're good!
ToT - Stocking up on Tamiflu is silly, but I can understand why people do it. It is the effort to mitigate the helplessness that they feel in a catastrophe that makes them feel better, even if whatever they do really doesn't actually help.
Gwynne - hey, thanks. :)
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