Once in a while I get blue. And then I get jealous of people who seem to have it all altogether, people who can have family and friends and lovers at the same time, people who are young, dynamic and have all their lives in front of them, people who write so well that it makes all my words look like crap, people who are rich, people who have a skill, people who know the meaning of their lives, people who are whole.
I'm tired of not knowing who I am and how I fit. The awful dark weight of life is kept at bay only by a few hobbies: a marathon at the end of year, perhaps a dinner with you, perhaps the promise of a happy weekend, perhaps a new gadget-toy, perhaps just writing another post, running another run, eating another dinner... postponing the future by stretching out the now.
I only have the now. I'm putting all my eggs in it and hoping for the best.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Life is a watermelon
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
whenever i come to a point in life where i find myself trying to "measure up" to some bar set by society or whatever, and which makes me terribly unhappy, i find comfort in the words of the Desiderata.... it speaks to me about a sense of place, of perspective and once you realise where you are in relation to everything else, ie. the BIG PICTURE, you will realise that your life is not as bad as it seems... it speaks to me about counting YOUR blessings, and not trying to add up everyone elses good fortune... it grounds one in the knowledge that your life is unique... and that you have the damn bloody right to be here in this here and now, doing those mundane things and yet, YOU are still special... i leave you with these very wise words...
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
I once wrote a poem called "Watermelon" which goes like this:If life is a watermelon and we spit out all the pits, what's there left to eat?"
OK, lah, not a poem, more a doggerel. And the lives which look so glam n good in blogs may b more like wishful thinking than reality.
At least u get to run on the beautiful beaches of Bali: that's reality..
Also, remember that song that goes something like "I've been undressed by kings etc...?
But the humdrum is better as the singer has put so succinctly:
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......:
Well, L, at least u've been to "me"...
hey, i do know that song... listened to the tracey huang version till the tape got chewed up by that crappy old tape player called a walkman... originally sung by Charlene and the official song title: I've Never Been To Me... you can find the lyrics here... and some nuggets/factoids about the song...
and there's a typo: the line that goes:
Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht...
Nice, as in the French city, rather than Niece... daughter of your siblings...
Hey, I've not much time to blog, let alone put together a coherent thought, but you are one of the few bloggers whom I believe enriches my life with your words...it's why I'm here right now...your insight, wit and wisdom never cease to amaze me. You are as "whole" as anyone can hope to be. And I could not have said it any better than Eric...everyone periodically feels as you describe...it sometimes makes you wonder how we manage to hold onto our survival instincts as long as we do, why we don't give in to the "dark weight of life" when things don't seem to be going well. Thank God for His mercy when we are feeling blue.
I was going to say something but Eric already said it, and better.
There's absolutely nothing vacuous or insiginificant about the little pieces of your life that you listed. In fact, it is in those very things that the moments of trascendent grace occur, the ones that surprise you out of your darkness. And sometimes you capture them on film, or in a blog post so you can share them with others. How cool is that?
Not only that, but you know how to put together a darn nice sentence.
Post a Comment